Photo Essay: To Hell and Back

One of the unique virtues of living in Washtenaw County is that you can travel to Hell and back in an afternoon. But unlike the AC/DC song, there is no highway to Hell, Michigan. It's all back roads. You can, however, buy a pretty sweet “Highway to Hell, Michigan” tee shirt once you get there.

 

Only 20 miles from downtown Ann Arbor, the route is simple and scenic. Find your way to Dexter Ann Arbor Road, follow it to Dexter-Pinckney Road (where you can make a quick Dexter Cider Mill detour) and knock a left on Darwin Road. Hell is two and a half miles on your left. I can't say for certain the road is paved with good intentions. You'll have to decide for yourself.

 

Only 50 miles from Detroit, you can be forgiven for feeling like you drove three hours north and hundreds of miles from home. Because much as you'd expect, once you're in Hell, contact with the outside world isn't easy. It's not uncommon to see damned souls wandering the streets in search of a cellphone signal.

 

Coming from the east, your first stop in Hell -- the first layer if you will -- should be the Hell In A Hand Basket Country Store, where you can grab some food and most infamously, get your mail postmarked as coming from Hell, MI. Next door is Screams Ice Cream, where along with getting frozen treats (thus proving a snowball actually has a chance in Hell) you can grab some of their extensive Hell souvenirs, play putt putt golf or rent canoes and kayaks (Hell is in the middle of a chain of lakes along the Portage River).

 

Behind Screams is -- no kidding -- the Hell wedding chapel. And for a mere $100 you can have your wedding officiant made the Mayor of Hell for the day. Think of the memories: Married in Hell by the Mayor of Hell while overlooking the Hell Creek Dam.  But to get the marriage off on the right foot, might I suggest a honeymoon in Paradise, MI, west of Sault Ste. Marie?  

 

Or if you're not ready to get hitched in Hell there is the Locked in Love bridge, where you can leave a lock and toss the key in nearby Hell Creek.

 

No trip to Hell would be complete without a stop at the Dam Site Inn. A roadhouse/biker bar with an internet juke box, pub food, bands on the weekend and cheep beer will make your escape from civilization complete. Without a doubt it's one of the coolest dive bars in the area.

  

We start our photo journey at Hell in a Handbasket, make our way to Screams Ice Cream, check out the putt putt course and head over to the wedding chapel. We'll finish the visit with a Halloween costume contest in Hell at the Dam Site Inn. 

 

And if you're wondering what a cross-dressing Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke would look like, your questions will be answered. Just be warned, in Hell, some things are hard to unsee.